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[Name] - pat [B-Day] - 1/2/86 [Location] - jersey [Zodiac Sign] - capricorn [Personal Quote] - shut the fuck up
Have you ever....?
[skydived] - no [bungee jumped] - no [been arrested] - no [almost died] - idk i might have [run into a parked car] - yeah
For any amount of money, would you ever...?
[eat live worms] - yea [strip] - ... why [have sex] - it depends [steal for someone] - as long as i dont get caught [cheat on your boy/girlfriend] - i'm not that heartless.. but then again if they deserved it, i would rub it right in their fucking face
What's your favorite...?
[movie] - star wars trilogy, half baked, office space, halloween [band/s] - icp, twiztid, mudvayne, iron maiden, at the gates, soilwork, bleeding through, can't think of anymore ones i like a whole lot [song right now] - twiztid - you're the reason [holiday] - christmas! [place to be] - anywhere with friends
This or That?
[Hot or cold] - cold [Neat or messy] - messy [White chocolate or Milk chocolate]- milk [Light or dark] - depends what you're talking about [Music or movies] - music
Do you like...?
[Taking Back Sunday] - i'd stab their eyes out and brand new both of those fucking faggot bands [Ben Affleck] - no [Friends] - no [New Found Glory] - fuckin fruitbaskets [Reese Witherspoon] - who the hell is she i dont care [Who's Line is It Anyway] - its ok [Brand New] - OMG I JUST FUCIn SAID THEM OMG I DIDNT KNOW THEY WERE ON HERE EITHER YOU FUCKING FAGGOT EMO KIDS I HATE YOU ALL >:O [Freddy Prince Jr.] - WHO THE FUKC [MTV Cribs] - ONL Y WHEN COOL PEOPLE ARE ON
Write the first thing that comes to mind...
[winter] - cold [summer] - hot [autumn] - leaves [snow] - mmm [heat] - sweat [flowers] - eh [pumpkins] - house of krazees [punk] - drunken people with fake british accents with no future whatsoever and are the scum of the earth [sex] - fuck that
Random Questions...
What was the worst day of your life?: i really don't know And how about the best day of your life?: i've never had one because anything relatively good that happens is thrown back in my face with a pile of bullshit Who do you enjoy being with the most?: idk And the least?: idk If you could build the perfect life, what and who would it consist of?: i'd be a raprockstar with a shitload of money.. that's all If you could be one celebrity for the day, who would it be?: gavin rossdale from bush.. gwen would be all mine *drool* Do you have a boy/girlfriend?: no Have you ever lost someone really close to you and your family?: uh.. idk i guess When are you the happiest?: around friends
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Saturday, March 29th, 2003
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| Time: | 12:55 pm. |
| Mood: | bitchy. |
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02. i love: food, video games, tv, mah niggaz 03. i hate: posers, people who accuse people of being posers, exhaustion, overly religious people 04. i cry: rarely 05. i fear: getting ebola from iraqis 06. i hope: i get rich somehow 07. i sadden: everyone :D 08. i feel alone: ALL THE TIME :D 09. i kill: lots of people.. in my head 10. i talk: to myself 11. i listen: TO OPETH 12. i break: my computer 13. i see: a screen 14. i smell: macaronia and cheeese 15. i taste: MARCAORONI ANC CHESDE 16. i work: by myself scratching mah nuts 17. i remember: memories? 18. i hold: my ballsack 19. i hide: everything 20. i pray: never 21. i walk: home from school :\ 22. i drive: nails into your skull 23. i read: nothing 24. i burn: things i dont like 25. i breathe: oxygen 26: i play: animal crossing :) 27. i miss: being a carefree child 28. i touch: nothing 29. i want: mass amounts of money 30. i wish: i could have that money 31. i know: i will never have that money :( 32. i said: fuck you 33. i hope: you die 34. i have: a bandana 36. i fall: on my ass 37. i wait: for nothing 38. i need: MONAY 39. i livd: what
Last time you: Smiled?: a little while ago at some photoshopped pics Laughed?: yeah look ---^ Cried?: few days ago i think Bought something?: a dr. pepper at the cafe yesterday Danced?: only when i hear ninjas in action Were sarcastic?: i can't even keep track Kissed someone?: no idea Watched your favorite movie?: can't remember Had a nightmare?: like 2 days ago i dreamt all of my villagers in animal crossing moved away :*( Last book you read: nope Last movie you saw: i really cant remember Last song you heard: goo goo dolls - name .. well listening to it now Last thing you had to drink: dew Last time you showered: idk around 9 am Last thing you ate: macARONI ADNCHESESE
Either or... Nice smiles or nice eyes? :: eyes Jeans or skirts? :: o_O jeans Boots or sneakers? :: sneakers Natural or make-up? :: make up Restaurants or fast food? :: fast foods Italian food or Chinese? :: italian Dark or light eyes? :: light Streaked or dyed hair? :: dunno Vampires or Gods? :: they're both fags Shakespeare or Greek mythology? :: greek mythology is nuts i love that shit Milk shakes or floats? :: i guesss milkshakes Cake or pie? :: cake
How... Do you want to die? :: while im sleeping and just never wake up Do you brush your teeth? :: with a toothbrush you fucking moron Much time do you take to dress up? :: like 5 minutes Do you like your life? :: its ok Well do most people know you? :: they know me about as well as i do, which still leaves much unknown Do you eat pizza? :: i dont fold it i like rip it in half :\ Many times a week do you eat junk food? :: i'm not quite sure
Do you.. Sing? :: no Dance? :: not really Laugh a lot? :: i guess Like spicy food? :: not really Prefer bagels over yogurt? :: how the fuck are you comparing these 2 foods Have a boyfriend/girlfriend? :: no i dont Think babies are cute? :: very occasionally Children in general? :: i think they're just funny in how stupid they are Believe in fortune cookies? :: no Believe in life after death? :: no Believe in life after love? :: yea, doesn't mean it will be enjoyable though Believe that anything is possible? :: no Believe that everyone has a purpose in life? :: no
Are... You a girl? :: no You a comedian? :: no Your friends true friends in your opinion? :: yeah pretty much You bored? :: yeah
Describe... Your heritage :: irish Your usual outfit :: ufos and a band t-shirt Your perfect day :: killing every idiot in my school and then sitting on a lawn chair and eating some pizza listening to tha WICKET SHITtttt Your hair :: foof Your eyes :: blue What you'd like to change about yourself :: fat Your perfect mate (physical features) :: not fatter than me, preferrably kinda emo lookin
What... Is your weakness? :: girls Are your fears? :: shut up Does your perfect pizza consist of? :: cheese sauce and bread Is one thing you would like to achieve? :: rock stardom
Who... Do you love the most? :: all mah niggaz Is the one person who makes you laugh the most? :: hard to say Makes you cry the most? :: females Really annoys you? :: emo kids Could you not live without? :: just all my friends Likes you though you hate him/her? :: nobody i know of
BASIC... :x: name = pat :x: piercings = none :x: tattoos = none, but ima definitely get tha hatchetman :D :x: height = 5'6 1/2" or so :x: shoe size = 10 1/2 :x: siblings = none
LAST... :x: movie you rented = i cant remember, might've been friday the 13th :x: movie you bought = i dont buy movies :x: song you listened to = right now big pun and incubus - still not a player :x: song that was stuck in your head = probably that gayass swing swing song :x: cd you bought = icp - the wraith. i dont buy CDs anymore unless its really vital :x: cd you listened to = icp - ringmaster :x: person you've called = idk :x: person that's called you = nobody :x: tv show you've watched = idk some thing on G4
DO... :x: you have a bf or gf = no :x: you have a crush on someone = yea i do :x: you wish you could live somewhere else = not in particular cuz i dont wanna leave any of my friends :x: you think about suicide = no :x: you believe in online dating = no :x: others find you attractive = i doubt it :x: you want more piercings = no :x: you do drugs = no!! not right now :x: you smoke = cigarettes are ICKY SMELLY :x: you like cleaning = idk sometimes it feels good to get rid of crap :x: you write in cursive or print = print :x: you carry a donor card = no
FOR OR AGAINST... :x: long distance relationships = theyre gay :x: using someone = if they deserve it then fuck it go for it :x: suicide = that's the stupidest thing ever :x: killing people = ABSOLUTELY :x: teenage smoking = if they wanna smoke away their lifespan let them :x: doing drugs = not hard drugs :x: premarital sex = premarital yes, teenage no.. which isnt to say i wouldn't, but i just think it's sad how blatantly sexual our society has become. the whole act lost every bit of its specialness which any older person can tell you was definitely an important act :x: driving drunk = thats retarded :x: gay/lesbian relationships = whatever i just dont wanna see it :x: soap operas = ew
FAVORITE... :x: food = pizza :x: song = lots :x: thing to do = nothing :x: thing to talk about = music cartoons stuff :x: sports = i hate them :x: drinks = DEW :x: clothes = the comfy kind that draws between a raverwiggermetalhead style :x: movies = halloween, star wars trilogy, office space, half baked :x: band/singer = mudvayne :x: holiday = christmas.. but i am much anticipating spring break :x: cars = im not into cars
HAVE YOU... :x: ever cried over a boy = ... no. :x: ever lied to someone = yeah :x: ever been in a fist fight = no :x: ever been arrested = no
WHAT... :x: shampoo do you use = head and shoulders :x: cologne do you use = none :x: shoes do you wear = sketchers
NUMBER... :x: of times I have been in love? = dunt know :x: of times I have had my heart broken? = 1 :x: of hearts I have broken? = 0? unless i have secret stalkers :( :x: of girls I have kissed? = 3 :x: of boys I have kissed? = 0 :x: of girls I've slept with? = slept with 0 :x: of boys I've slept with? = 0 :x: of continents I have lived in? = 1 :x: of drugs taken illegally? = 1 :x: of people I would classify as true, could trust with my life type friends? = thats too hard to say :x: of people I consider my enemies? = 290839807357473 :x: of times my name has appeared in the newspaper? = how should i know :x: of scars on my body?= 1 on each side of my hip, i think one on my nose from a chickenpox, some on my toe.. then maybe more i dont know of :x: of things in my past that I regret? = tons
FAVORITE... :x: disney == walt :x: scent = idk :x: word = flabbergasted :x: nickname = pat :x: guy name = mike :x: girl name = michelle :x: eye color = blue :x: piercing = none :x: actor = none :x: actress = none
DO YOU THINK YOU ARE... :x: pretty = no :x: funny = i suppose :x: hot = no :x: friendly = no :x: amusing = si :x: ugly = yeSSSSSSs :x: loveable = yea :D :x: pessimistic = quite :x: optimistic = not at all :x: caring = to a degree :x: sweet = to a degree :x: dorky = hell yea :x: lerdy = wtf
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Tuesday, February 11th, 2003
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| Time: | 9:11 pm. |
| Mood: | sad. |
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Name: patrick Age: 17 Location: dirty jerzay Do you like sappy love stories?: nah, too depressing. Do you like to read?: nope Are you sensitive?: yes :*( Do you like muscular men/women or skinny?: uh.. somewhere in between i guess, no fatties and no anorexics on an ethiopian diet. What's your favorite type of music?: metal Do you get along with your family?: we coexist fine Who do you go to for advice?: anybody What would you do if you were pregnant right now?: i'd empty out my vagina What do you do when you are bored?: this Do you cheat on tests?: no Have you ever stolen something? YES Do you wear "bloomers"? wtf is that Are you "mature" for your age? in some ways yea Who would you like to look like? myself If you could meet someone famous who would it be? icp Are you always stressed or worried? yea What about? everything Were you in girl/boy scouts? yea for like no time at all What's your favorite Girl Scout cookie? thin mints Ever have a slumber party? no Were there boys there? n/a What's the best April Fools prank you've pulled? none Do you think Whitney Houston is a terrible actress? i dont really know Do you like sports? no i sure dont What's your fav. sport? eating Do you watch OZ on HBO? i dont have HBO Who is your fav. character? nope Do you like scary movies? yes i do What TV station do you watch the most? comedy central, cartoon network What cause/belief would you fight until the end for? nothing Does your private area ever itch in public, but you are embarassed to scratch? i will scratch myself no matter what What do you do in those situations? SCRATCH Do you play spades? no If so, are you good? no. Do you celebrate all national holidays? i dunno Have you ever had a boyfriend/girlfriend? yeh Do you trust people easily? ehhh yes and no Have you ever seen snow? yes Have you ever been in a hail storm? well not that i really remember Did you ever almost drown? when...? i dont remember Do you think Chris Rock is cute in a crack head sort of way? yes Do you like sarcasm? idk. Do you like alcohol? no cuz it gets you in trouble :( Beer? no Do you smoke ciggs? no Do you have a big secret that you are dying to tell? i'm a girl Do you like Madonna? no When is your birthday? jan 2nd Ever had your nails done? no not professionally Do you believe in love? yea How about miracles and luck? yea What do you think about drag queens? *gag* What's your fav. computer game? TFC Do your feet stink right now? i think so Are you excited about something? no not really. Do you like kids? no Do you want kids? i guess Are your parents/guardians proud of you ? i doubt it If you could be with anyone in this world, dead or alive, who would you want to be with? :X Ever been to the ocean? yes Ever flew in a plane? yes Do you want to go to space? yes Do you often look at the sky? yes Do you appreciate all the beauty around you? nope! Do you love elephants? theyre ugly Ever been Christmas caroling? never What's your fav. holiday? christmas but this past one kinda sucked :( Are you tired of this survey yet? no i'm bored as hell. Mood you are in right now: sad and scared i'ma lose somebody :\ What did you do today: i went to school Whatcha wearing: some black UFOs and a dark lotus shirt Favorites Store- i havent been shopping in months Type of Italian food- dude thats hard.. but i guess i just gotta go with pizza Type of Chinese food- pork fried rice Type of Mexican food- uh.. idk i like chicken quesedialllaidaldlssssasa from taco bell Drink- mountain dewwwww and some JOLT Candy- dunno.. swedish fish probly Car/truck/SUV- none.. but i REALLY hate SUVs Type of underwear- none Color- black Material(cotton,spandex,nylon....)- silk Fast food joint- BK/KFC Restaurant- uh none Grade in school- 11 Type of Music- I SAID METAL ALREADY Female Singer- michelle branch Male Singer- uh.. can't really think of one Band- iron maiden/mudvayne Nail polish color- naked Day of the week- saturday Time of the day- when im not in school Movie- office space, the shining Tv show- lots of cartoons
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Sunday, January 26th, 2003
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| Time: | 1:32 am. |
| Mood: | bored. |
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1. What is your full name? Patrick Timothy Michael O'Regan 2. When is your birthday? jan 2nd 1986 3. How old are you? 17 4. What are your parents names? john and maureen 5. Where were you born? hackensack 6. What town did you grow up in? kearny 7. Where are you living now, with who? kearny with my parents 8. What are the top three qualities you look for in a partner? open-mindedness, sense of humor, and appearance 9. What is your ideal mate? someone who meets the above qualifications ? 10. What are your life ambitions? i wanna be a rock star :( 11. If you can pick the perfect job, what would it be? rock star.. i dunno. i'd love to do something in video game design but that is now a much harder field to get involved in i believe. somethin with music would be cool, studio engineer or something such as that. 12. If you could pick any place to travel, where would you go? Japan 13. Where do you want to live for the rest of your life? not too far from here, i don't wanna be someplace that's hot 14. If you were sent on an island, what three things would you bring? a power generator, my computer, and uh.. someway to be connected online :\ 15. What are you complimented on most? i really don't get any 16. Do you accept compliments well? if i do get one i tend to assume it's a joke 17. What do you think you can offer others (ex: loyalty...)? open-mindedness 18. What has been the happiest moment of your life 'til this day? none i can think of 19. If you can pick anyone in this world to date (dead or alive)? dunno 20. What do you do when things get tough? whine and complain 21. What is your favourite type of music? metal 22. What is your favourite band/singer? iron maiden/mudvayne 23. What is your favourite movie? the shining, star wars 24. What topic do you like talking about the most? music 25. Do you find it easier to talk/get along with Males or Females? males cuz we tend to not be confusing 26. Who do you consider a best friend and why? me 27. If you could put your life in someones hand, who would that person be? a really good doctor? 28. Are your parents still married? yea 29. Do you have siblings, if so, age and names... please? no 30. Do you get along with your family? i guess 31. What do you like most about family members? idk 32. What matters most in your life? music 33. Do you have kids? NO 34. If not, do you ever plan on having kids? i'd hope to 35. If so, how many kids do you want to have? 2 36. If you could have any animal, small or big, what would you have? i wuv kitties 37. What are your phobias? im scared of girls 38. What makes you most uncomfortable? big social situations, speaking in front of a group of people, etc. 39. Do you believe in God? i'm not sure 40. Are you religious? i hate religions 41. When is the last time you cried? maybe a week or so ago. which isn't to say i haven't felt like doing so since then. 42. Do you think boyz that cry are sissy's or emotional and sweet? it means either they're a pussy or they aren't afraid to express emotion 43. What has been the sadest day of your life and why? when i got my heart ripped out, chewed up, spit out, and stomped on :D 44. Do you like MSN or ICQ more and why? they both suck 45. What is your dream vehicle? batmobile 46. What is your favourite feature of the opposite sex? their brain.. as stupid as that sounds :\ 47. What do you think is most important in a relationship? it's hard to say from my lack of experience with such things 48. Would you date someone younger than you? yea dont matter to me 49. Do you prefer to date someone taller or shorter than you? well shorter would be nicer 50. What do you think is most important, communication or sex? uh, communication.. wtf does sex matter 51. Do you like kids? no 53. Do you like to read? no 54. What is your favourite food? chickennnnnnnnnnnnnnnn 55. What is your favourite flower or plant? venus fly traps are cool 56. What is your favourite colour? black 57. What hair color do you like the best? or bald?.... on the opposite sex? not really sure 58. What annoys you most about people? when they're idiots 59. Are you left handed or right handed? right 60. If you were to lose one of your senses, what one would you want to lose? smell 61. What would you do if you lost the most important thing to you? mope around whining and crying all the time 63. Do you think education is important? yea 64. When it comes to jobs, is it who you know, or what you know? i really don't know at this point 65. Do you like getting quizes through e-mail? i don't get any anymore, i had to find this one 66. What is your favourite poem? no 67. Do you drink alcoholic beverages frequently, sometimes, never? nah 68. Are you nice to everyone you meet? no 69. Do you treat everyone equally? no 70. Are you racist, prejudice? not really 71. What is your favourite board game? monopoly 72. Do you believe in love at first sight? i doubt it 73. What is the best advice ever given to you? none 74. If you could give one piece of advice, what would it be? do not trust people easily 75. Do you believe in psychics? no 76. What is your favourite number? 13 77. Who is your favourite actor and actress? none 78.What is your favourite web page? www.horrorcore.com 79. Have you ever been in love? i thought so, but i am not sure now that i look back at it 80. Have you ever been cheated on? don't believe so 81. Have you ever cheated on a boyfriend/girlfriend? no 82. What do you do in your spare time? sit at this computer 83. Do you like to do nice things for others, help them out? i guess 84. Do you get along with people of all ages? uh i dunno Who do you get along better with? wtf 85. If someone needed cash, would you give them it? i always do 86. Do you say bless you after someone sneezes... even if you don't know them? no 87. Do you have good morals? raise well? i guess so, my parents definitely raised me with good morals. but to say those morals are still intact would be wrong. i've definitely become more vulgar, anti-religious, and not caring about offending anyone. 88. Say three nice things about the person who sent this to you! n/a 89. Do you have any piercings or tattoos? nah 90. What is your favourite smell? pizza 91. Do you like day or night better and why? night.. i wish more people were fucking awake 92. Where do you work? Do you like your job? none 93. How would you react if someone of the same sex hit on you? i would probably curse them out, that's disgusting 94. How would you react if someone your not interested in hit on you? i'm really not sure since i've never been hit on to my recollection, so i guess i'd just shrug it off. 95. Would you lie to make others happy, or tell the truth knowing it would hurt them? i try to be brutally honest 96. Do you wish on stars? no 97. Do you believe in Fate? no 98. What is your favourite sport? none 99. Are you happy the quiz is done? i guess
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Monday, January 20th, 2003
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Info:
1. Full Name: Patrick Timothy Michael O'Regan 2. Age: 17 3. DOB: 1/2/86 4. School: KHS 5. Location: dirtay jerZAYYAYAY 6. Do you have a girlfriend/boyfriend: no >:o 7. Describe yourself: big raver pants, band t-shirts, nazi/white trash hair, beard, blue eyes, and fat 8. What group or subculture would you fall under?: backpacker indy metalhead goth gangsta punk geek pile of shit man.. subcultures are retarded
Likes/DisLikes:
Likes: 9. Favorite Music Artists/bands: icp, iron maiden, mudvayne 10. Favorite type of Music: metal (black, death, power, speed, symphonic, thrash, upside down crucifix sex on your mother), hardcore, rap (horrorcore, hip-hop, gangsta, other shit i cant indentify), and some punk, alternative, classic rock, electronic and just about anything that i enjoy. 11. Favorite Food: chicken helper 12. Favorite Movie(s): the Kevin Smith movies, SW Trilogy, Halloween, the Shining, Half Baked, Office Space 13. Favorite song: icp - nothing's left, mudvayne - world so cold 14. Favorite anything: food
DisLikes: 15. Just list everything you hate: emo, kids who assume i am a trendy little nu metal loving hot topic kid, trendy little nu metal loving hot topic kids, politics, close-minded people (especially when it comes to music), today's horror movies, most teen movies, kelly osbourne, www.petsorfood.com, school, hard drugs, and i won't continue my hatefest
Stuff: 16. Mood: tired 17. Music: blind guardian 18. Cothes: camo UFOs, a centipede shirt, my chain necklace thing, and a bandana 19. Who is with you: nobody 20. What's on your screen right now: AIM, IE, winamp, livejournal 21. What are you doing besides this survey: nothing 22. What's have you eatin today: i just woke up 23. What did you drink today: orange soda 24. What's msuic is currently playing: blind guardian STILL you idiot 25. What do you wear when you go to bed: pajamas 27. Who is your Current bf/gf: no 26. Who is your Current Crush: shtu upuu 27. Who is the person that Knows the most about you. evan i guess 28. Do you have a Pet: ROCKY mah psychopathic kitty pal 29. If you were given a chance, who would you go out with?: doesn't this mean the same thing as a crush? 30. If you were a HOT DOG would you eat yourslef: maybe i'd just eat my ass cuz it's too big anyway 31. If you had a million dollars: buy a shitload of shirts and CDs, a new like 3000 dollar alienware computer, and probably treat my friends to stuff a lot 32. Who was the last person you were on the phone with: uh i think when jay called 33. Who did you last make out with: myself 34: Have you ever had sex: ::pisses chunks of green radioactive waste:: 35: If so with who: ::proceeds to vomit all over self:: 36. How did it feel: I EJACULATED SO I DONT KNOW 37. Where did you do it: IN YOUR MOM'S BED 38. Are you optomisitc or pessamistic: pessimistic 39. What jobs have you had: sitting on my ass 150. Last Question. not too long
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Sunday, January 12th, 2003
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| Time: | 6:44 pm. |
| Mood: | bored. |
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// series one ---> Name: patrick ---> Birth date: 1/2/86.. i am now 17 :O ---> Birthplace: nj ---> Current Location: kearny the toxic wasteland of nj ---> Eye Color: blue ---> Hair Color: browniisshhsih ---> Righty or Lefty: righty ---> Zodiac Sign: capricorn ---> Innie or Outtie: innie
// series two - describe ---> Your heritage: irish 100% babayyyy ---> The shoes you wore today: the same pair of sketchers i wear every day ---> Your hair: gay ---> Your eyes: pretty ---> Your weakness?: females ---> Your fears: females ---> Your perfect pizza: ginas big ass pizza *drool* ---> One thing you'd like to achieve: rock stardom
// series three - what is ---> Your most overused phrase on aol\aim: shut the fuck up you dried up wad of man juice ---> Your thoughts first waking up: "fuck this" ---> The first feature you notice in the opposite (or same) sex: face ---> Your best physical features: uh.. maybe my eyes ---> Your usual bedtime: 11 ---> Your greatest accomplishment: potty training ---> Your best memory: uuhhhhh listening to amazing jeckel brothers for the first time and being like YO WHUT THA FUCK THESE CLOWNS IS CRAZY
// series four - do you ---> Smoke: not really ---> Cuss: fuck off shitface ---> Sing well: nnnnoo i bust rhymes ---> Take a shower everyday: yes ---> Want to go to college: yea ---> Like high school: NO! ---> Want to get married: yea ---> Type with your fingers on the right keys: NEVAH ---> Believe in yourself: not at all ---> Get motion sickness: i dont think so ---> Think you're attractive: NEVAH!!!!!!!!! ---> Think you're a health freak: lmao ::waves titties in your face and does a jiggly belly dance:: fuckaaaa ---> Like thunderstorms: yeah theyre cool ---> Play an instrument: not really anymore
// series five - in the past month, did/have you ---> Drank alcohol: yea ---> Smoke(d): no ---> Done a drug: no ---> Made Out: no ---> Gone on a date: no ---> Gone to the mall?: no ---> Been on stage: no ---> Been dumped: no ---> Gone skating: no ---> Made homemade cookiess: no ---> Been in love: no ---> Gone skinny dipping: no ---> Dyed your hair: no ---> Stolen anything: no.. goddamn i'm boring
// series six - have you ever? ---> Played a game that required removal of clothing?: no. ---> If so, was it mixed company: ---> Been trashed or extremely intoxicated: nah not really ---> Been caught "doing something": nope ---> Been called a tease: ahaha no ---> Gotten beaten up: no ---> Shoplifted: half-life and harry potter jellybeans :D ---> If so, did you get caught: nah ---> Changed who you were to fit in: never
// series seven - the future ---> Age you hope to be married: dont really care but not when im fuckin old and can't be romantic and sexual and shit ---> Numbers and Names of Children: a boy and girl.. i'll name them both crackkoa.. no i wont that was gibberish ---> Describe your Dream Wedding: uhhh i want slayer to play at my wedding ---> What age do you want to die: when i can't take it anymore ---> What country would you most like to visit: japan/australia/amsterdam ---> Current Clothes: olive UFOs, red RATM shirt, some socks, sneakers, cooties boxers :O ---> Current Mood: WHO THE HELL KNWOS ---> Current Taste: mountain dew ---> Current Hair: pile of poo ---> Current Annoyance: being bored ---> Current Smell: oxygen ---> Current thing you ought to be doing: homework ---> Current Desktop Picture: idk some gay nature shit ---> Current Favorite bands: twiztid/dep/iced earth ---> Current Book: book? HA ---> Current DVD In Player: we don't have a DVD player.. forget that, VHS is where it's at ---> Current Worry: am i going to fail all my exams :O ---> Current Crush: briana banks even tho i could probly climb inside her vagina and do gymnastics
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Sunday, January 5th, 2003
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Wednesday, January 1st, 2003
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[Name] - pat [B-Day] - 1/2/86 [Location] - NJ [Zodiac Sign] - capricorn [Personal Quote] - fuck you
Have you ever....?
[skydived] - no [bungee jumped] - no [been arrested] - no [almost died] - maybe [run into a parked car] - i wouldnt doubt it
For any amount of money, would you ever...?
[eat live worms] - if i could clean the dirt off [strip] - nobody would pay to see that [have sex] - yes [steal for someone] - if i ever broke the law and risked getting in trouble, i would do it for myself [cheat on your boy/girlfriend] - no
What's your favorite...?
[movie] - the shining, return of the jedi, office space [band/s] - icp.. which is a group so.. i guess the band would be iron maiden.. or slipknot [song right now] - kovenant - the human abstract [holiday] - christmas, except for this year's [place to be] - right here
This or That?
[Hot or cold] - cold [Neat or messy] - messy [White chocolate or Milk chocolate]- milk [Light or dark] - depends [Music or movies] - music
Do you like...?
[Taking Back Sunday] - emo faggots [Ben Affleck] - fuck him [Friends] - the show i dont know really.. but real life friends i dont have many anyway [New Found Glory] - suck my balls [Reese Witherspoon] - who [Who's Line is It Anyway] - thats a coo show [Brand New] - what the fuck [Freddy Prince Jr.] - it's prinze isnt it? and fuck you [MTV Cribs] - i watch it.. it's coo
Write the first thing that comes to mind...
[winter] - i wuv it [summer] - GAY [autumn] - aight [snow] - prettyyyyy [heat] - DIE [flowers] - scary [pumpkins] - seasons are changin the colors are green pumpkins rottin away like hopes and dreams [punk] - drunk british people [sex] - mmm
Random Questions...
What was the worst day of your life?: march .. 9th i believe.. of freshman year And how about the best day of your life?: uhhrhrhgh when i saw the video for Another Love Song on the box.. i miss that channel Who do you enjoy being with the most?: ...myself? i haven't hung out with anyone for over a month so i don't even know anymore And the least? : me :D If you could build the perfect life, what and who would it consist of?: black metal hip hop bands, chicken helper, and all mah niggaz wit tha chronic and alcoholic beverages If you could be one celebrity for the day, who would it be?: the guy from either good charlotte/nfg/simple plan/whatever the fuck the big pop punk band is right now. that way i could do all kinds of fucked up shit so the next day their band would be screwed and they'd lose all their fans. ha. Do you have a boy/girlfriend?: no Have you ever lost someone really close to you and your family?: not really When are you the happiest?: when i'm home alone and eating lots of food
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Monday, December 30th, 2002
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whoa it really is. tomorrow is new year's eve, meaning it's a new year.. which means.. pretty much absolutely nothing. and then thursday is my birthday, THE DAY WE GO BACK TO SCHOOL. OH BOY. not only that, but i gotta go to the oral surgeon faggot after school to possibly get my jaw unwired. and it might not be tomorrow and it'll be monday. i just wanna get this fucking bullshit over with and eat some mashed potatoes and some overcooked macaroni and cheese. i also want to yell at people because i havent been able to communicate for 6 weeks. no socialization for a month and a half. i hope that hasn't affected me in a bad way or anything. fuck youuuuuu faggotrtass
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Saturday, December 28th, 2002
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hey you dirty little children its a saturday night! GUESS WHOS WRITING HERE FOR NO ONE TO READ. OH MY GOODNESS ITS PAT :O
i don't even know what to write here. i'm just so bored i'm gonnan KILL YOU AND YOUR FEINDS
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Friday, November 8th, 2002
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| Time: | 9:45 am. |
| Mood: | blah. |
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* your name spelled backwards: kcirtap.. fuck yeah * birthday: jan 2 * height: 5'6" or so * piercings/tattoos: none now. i plan on getting a hatchetman on my shoulder, and possibly something video game related. * scars: the gay one on my lip cuz i was born a mutant.. and one on my hip from my last surgery. in a few weeks there will be on on the other side :( * if there were 3 wells -- wealth, health, and knowledge -- which would you choose?: wealth allows you to have everything, including happiness. * do you wish on stars?: i dont wish on shit cuz it don't come true, same bullshit as praying * which finger is your favorite?: ::flips you off:: * what is the most disgusting food you have ever eaten?: any vegetable * would you kill someone?: YEA * when did you last cry?: uh not sure.. a day or 2 ago * what TV show or movie best describes your life?: i wish it was cheers * do you like your handwriting?: its fucked up * who are you jealous of?: everybody * what is the #1 priority in your life?: not getting depressed and becoming a heroin addicted alcoholic * what is your favorite lunch meat?: i dont tend to eat meat on sandwiches and shit * do you have any bad habits?: im lazy * if you were another person, would you be friends with you?: no * are you a daredevil?: no * have you ever told a secret that you swore you wouldn't repeat?: probly * have you ever stolen anything?: half-life :D * do looks matter?: to me, i actually have my limits of how disgustingly ugly a person can be. but it seems that looks do matter do the majority of everyone else in the world, faggots. * have you ever met anyone famous?: no * do you think there is a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow?: no * are you trendy?: yep * what do you do to vent anger?: i whine and bitch to people * are you passive or aggressive?: i swing from one to the other like bread with either jam or butter.. OH SHIT YOU WISH YOU HAD THOSE CRAZY RAP STYLES * do you get along better with you mother or father?: i don't get along very well with either of them actually.. but maybe my mom :\ * who is your second family?: none * do you trust others easily?: i try not to but i think i end up doing so anyway * what was your favorite toy as a child?: ninja turtles, legos * what class in school do you think is totally useless?: all of them are important, but i think high school should be the beginning of specialization towards what you'll need for your major. so then there would be no useless classes. idk * do you like love songs?: heartbreak songs :*( * do you think your life so far has been good?: i've had a good upbringing definitely, my teenage years are just fucked up like everyone elses * which was your best halloween costume?: i think my mom did an awesome job on my violent j facepaint, circa 8th grade * have you ever been on radio or television?: maybe for a split second..i think on the macy thanksgiving parade thing and when UPN came to washington school cuz we're built over fucking toxic waste * do you keep a diary?: DUH * have you ever intentionally hurt another person?: maybe * do you like sarcasm?: uh idk * have you ever been in a mosh pit?: i haven't been to any shows/concerts * do you always wear a seat belt?: yea * do you feel understood most of the time?: just about never * would you rather have a sore throat or an upset stomach?: i fucking hate sore throats so much so i guess stomach * have you ever thought seriously about committing suicide?: yeh * what is your soap opera name?: dr. patrick walters, the phd with a thirst for bloodshed * do you keep your underwear and socks in the same drawer?: yeh * would you rather be hot or cold?: cold * what is the first thing on your christmas list?: i didn't write it yet since im sure i can get shit after my surgery.. after that i'll get to writin it * what was the best christmas present you received?: SNES, game boy, N64, gamecube :D * who was the last person you kissed?: PFFT * could you be a vegetarian?: fuck no they piss me off * what word do you use when you think something is good?: lots of obscenities * what band has the funniest name?: dog fashion disco.. their first name was better tho, hug the retard * would you ever bungee jump?: IF THE CORD WOULD SNAP THEN SURE!!!!!!!! * do you untie your shoes every time you take them off?: not always * would you rather wear uniforms to school?: NO * have you ever given money to a bum?: NO * do you ever realize you are dreaming in your dreams?: man idk.. i do if i like wake up for a second then when i go back to my dream its more like a daydream and i have too much control over it * do you ever wear overalls?: what am i a fucking country bumpkin * do you think you are strong (emotionally)?: not at all
*HAVE YOU EVER*
* ...had the drink Calypso Breeze?: no * ...been in love?: i don't even know anymore * ...been to africa?: no * ...been toilet-papering?: no * ...been toilet-papered?: no * ...loved somebody so much it makes you cry?: yeeeeeeaaaahhhhhresh
*WHICH DO YOU RATHER? (THIS? or THAT?)*
* croutons or bacon bits: no * 2 doors or 4 (on a car): ... * mr. pibb or dr. pepper: hard to say, i dont see much of a difference * coffee or ice-cream: ice cream * ruffles or lays: rufffflells * blanket or stuffed animal: well i need a blanket its cold * shampoo or conditioner: shamoiiepoooe * relationship or hookup: relationship.. i can't just hookup with somebody and then that be it, it makes me feel like shit afterwards. given the chance i will just cuz im stupid like that, but i'll regret it later. * purple grapes or green: green * lefty or righty: right * bridges or tunnels: idk * one pillow or two(or more): 2 * adidas or nike: adidas * adidas or reebok: adidas
*WORD ASSOCIATION*
* RUBBER GLOVES: eww * ROCK: and roll * BLUE: that skyy blue or some shit * WET: pusseh * CRY: aerosmith * PEANUT BUTTER: ew * HAY: CHICKEN HUNTIN * KNOTT'S BERRY FARM: jelly * PAPER: cut
*WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE...
* ...salad dressing: i dont like salad * ...color of socks: white * ...number(s): 13 * ...memory: i dont have 1 yet * ...dance: the manny dance * ...place to be kissed: my fucking dick fuckface even tho ive never been kissed there, but fuck you * ...professional sport: no * ...movie (only one!): return of the jedi * ...quote from a movie: "MAGIC MAGIC NINJAS WHUUUT MAGIC MAGIC NINJAS WHUUUT" * ...holiday: christmas * ...place to cuddle: i have nobody to cuddle with * ...toothpaste: dont matter * ...food: pizza, chicken helper, mac andcheeeeeeeeese * ...day of the week: saturday * ...place to wash in the shower: my anal walls * ...song at the moment: icp - aint yo bidness/soopa villains f/ esham * ...tv show: idk * ...hotel: i never stayed at one * ...subject in school: music history * ...restaurant: centannis i guess * ...flower: the giant one from jumanji * ...alcoholic drink: i dont drink :\ * ...love song: sycksyde - bloody valentines * ...fast food restaurant: BK or KFC * ...pair of jeans: i only have 1.. my wrestling ones were cool but theyre small now
* what is the best "unexpected thing" a guy could do for a girl?: i could fucking rape her and kill her to extinguish her filth * are you over your last "crush"?: never completely * what do you really think of britney spears?: i'd eat her butt * what color is your bathroom's carpet?: green * what was the name of your childhood blanket/stuffed animal?: gundy, my teddy bear * what are your true feelings towards the opposite sex?: fuck them * how many times did you fail your permit and/or drivers license test?: i passed the permit shit but havent bothered to get it or anything * what do you think of ouija boards?: idk * who is the last person that you got mail from?: advertisers * which single store would you choose to max your parents credit card?: sad to say hot topic, but one of the ones where they have CDs.. at least there'd be some decent shit there. the rest of it i could give away to paula's poor ass * what type of car you drive now?: no * name the most romantic thing that someone has ever done for you: none * bed time?: it depends on whether a parent is here and awake * what do you look for in romantic love interests: a girl that i can beat her fucking ass * loudest person(s) you know?: my friends arent loud * craziest or silliest person you know?: idk * funnest person you know?: idk * nicest person you know?: all my friends are assholes :) * good friend(s): pretty much all of them i guess * give one random fact about yourself: i shave both of my pubes
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Friday, November 1st, 2002
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i find it strange that i get depressed for no reason.. people tend to have something bad to happen to them that causes them to be upset, yet i am pissed off all day for absolutely no reason. and i'm not bleeding out of my penis either. wtf is going on?! something is wrong with me fo real. human beings as a whole piss me off, especially females.. they're so goddamned ignorant to everything. never can they make up their mind for longer than a minute. it makes me so angry, i'm becoming a masculinist.. or something. i just want to fucking smack and rape every girl in this world, they're all worthless whores that have the attention span of a fucking 4 year old. these kind of thoughts really are not going to lead to anything good. i hope i don't turn into a wife beater or something, that would suck to go to jail just because i'd get my heart ripped out and spat upon and feel more pain over years than the fucking bitch would for 3 minutes after smacking her in the head. bitches aint nuttin but ho's and tricks, this is becoming so obvious to me now.
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Monday, October 21st, 2002
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A LITTLE ABOUT ME...
1. Name: patrick 2. Nickname(s): pat ? 3. Birthday: 1/2/86 4. School: a faggoty ID card wearing school 5. Born In: hackensack i think 6. City/State you live in: kearny NJ 7. What famous person do people think you look like? none 8. What are you afraid of? dying 9. Do you wear contacts or glasses? no 10. Describe what you look like: a confused hot topic shopping teenager 11. What's your personality type? the kind that eats your brain 12. Do you think you're attractive? no 13. Describe your perfect man/woman: a pretty girl who appreciates my stupid and somewhat sick sense of humor, isn't politically correct, and overall doesn't give a shit what people think.. and she can't break my heart :( 14. Do you like yourself? no 15. Most Embarrassing Moment: none i can recall 16. Your future kids names: little shithead 17. Who are the people that know the most about you: evan.. he knows all of the things that nobody should ever know :\ 18. Which of your friends do you think will remain with you forever? idk maybe evan 19. Who/What upsets you the most? the world
A LITTLE ABOUT YOUR FAMILY... 1. Parent's names: johnny o and maureen 2. Parent's Birthday's: i dont know 3. Siblings: no 4. Siblings Ages: no 5. Last Family Vacation: no 6. Next Family Vacation: no 7. Do you get along with your family? we coexist but i hate them :\ 8. Have you ever said you hated your parents/siblings? i just did fuckface 9. Do you and your parents have things in common? me and my mom are both whiny over little shit 10. If you had to pick one person out of your family to live with who would it be? rocky
FAVORITE? 1. Ice Cream: chocolate chip mint 2. Dessert: rich moist chocolate cake with not too much icing *drool* 3. Food: pizza, chicken helper.. anything with either cheese or chicken 4. Vegetable: eww 5. Fruit: eww 6. Meat: CHICKEN 7. Candy: idk 8. Beverage: mountain dew 9. Movie: half baked, the green mile, the sw trilogy, probly other shit i cant think of.. 10. Channel: cartoon network, G4, mtv2 11. TV Show: space ghost is the SHIT 12. Talk show: no 13. Actress: no 14. Actor: no 15. Cartoon: ............ space ghost you faget 16. Anime: dbz, bebop.. i aint seen that much 17. Cartoon Character: brak :D 18. Anime Character: hercule.. or majin buu 19. Season: winter 20. Animal: cats 21. Pok?mon: blastoise, articuno... and mewtwo is fucking awesome 22. Job/Chore: nope 23. Brand of clothing: UFO 24. Clothing Store: hot topic :\ 25. Group: icp 26. Song: icp - nothing's left. and probably some metallica 27. Place to visit: nowhere 28. Playground equipment: i loved the big like things with a bridge and like slides and all this crazy shit 29. Salad Dressing: no 31. Thing To Wear: UFOs 32. Jewelry To Wear: none 33. Sport: bash your head into the barbed wire 34. Number: 13 35. Bug(Insect): lady bugs.. and fucking praying mantises are fuCKING CRAZY MONSTERS FROM SPACE 36. Flower: dead ones 37. Inside joke: ... 38. Brand of shoes: i like vans but this pair i got fuckin suck so im rockin sketchers now 39. Perfume/Cologne: fuck that shit
YOUR FUTURE SIDE... 1. Dream Car: one that runs well 2. Career/Family: rock/rap star 3. Where are you going to live: no idea, maybe in this area.. i just dont know at this point 4. Are you ever going to marry: i hope :( 5. Do you want to have kids: yeh thatd be coo 6. Are you going to College: yeah 7. Where do you see yourself in 10 years: sitting at a computer 8. If you could pick someone now to marry in the future, who would it be? your mother
HAVE YOU EVER? 1. Loved somebody so much it makes you cry? fuck you nigga >:O 2. Drank alcohol? yeh 3. Smoked? yeh 4. Done drugs? weed does not equal drug 5. Broken the law? yeh 6. Ran away from home? no.. maybe when i was like a little kid i probably ran away for like an hour and came home crying like a bitch, i wouldn't doubt it 7. Broken a bone? no 8. Cheated on a test? yea 9. Skinny-dipped? no 10. Played strip poker? no 11. Played Truth Or Dare? not really 12. Flashed someone? no 13. Mooned Someone? bro thats nasty my ass is a fucking jungle of fat pasty skin and hair 14. Kissed someone you didn't know? no 15. Been on a talk show/Game show? no 16. Been in a fight? no 17. Rode in a fire truck? no 18. Been on a plane? yes 19. Come close to dying? not sure 20. Snuck Online? uh yea 21. Gave someone a piggy back/shoulder ride? not that i recall 22. Eaten a worm/mud pie? i'm not a fucking preschooler 23. Kissed Someone? yea 24. Been in a sauna? no 25. Swam in the ocean? yeaaa 26. Had a nightmare/dream that made you wake up? yes 27. Masturbated so hard you sprained your wrist? no
WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT... 1. Abortion: fresh fetuses :> 2. Bill Clinton: awesome 3. Rap: fuck yea 4. Country: eh i'm sure some of it is alright, just never bothered to find it 5. Alternative? sure 6. Heavy Metal? mmmmm 7. Classical? sokay 8. Oldies? sokay 9. Industrial? depends 10. Techno? trance is some fly shit 11. Soap Operas? fuck that 12. Your Parents? no 13. Sex with the person who sent this to you? i stole it from sami.. *drool* 14. Meat: yum.. 15. The person that sent this to you? ;D 16. Ugly Guys/Girls? MEEEEEEEEEEEEEE 17. Amusement parks? i dont like them 18. Sex before marriage? it's hard for me to say there
WHAT IS... 1. Your good luck charm? none 2. The worst song you've ever heard? metallica and ja rule 3. Best song you've ever heard? cof - hallowed be thy name 4. The most embarrassing CD in your collection? idk maybe barenaked ladies or something.. i think they're fuckin cool tho 5. Your bedroom like? a mess 6. Your favorite thing for breakfast? bread 7. Your favorite thing for dinner? chicken helper 8. Your house like? pretty nice 9. Your favorite restaurant? idk centannis maybe cuz italian food.. mmm 10. Your sexuality? i like tha ladies 11. Your fantasy like? i dont have one
WHICH IS BETTER... 1. Coke or Pepsi? pepsi 2. Oranges or apples? no 3. One pillow or two? 2 4. Deaf or blind? theyre both gay 5. Pools or hot tubs? nah 6. Blondes or brunettes? brunetetes 7. Tall or short? shorter than me 8. TV or radio? TV 9. Bike or Rollerblades? feet 10. Dress or Skirt? kilt 11. Tshirt or tank-top? t-shirt 12. Sweet or Dill Pickles? pickles suck 13. Chips or Popcorn? too hard to decide 14. Peace/yin yang/smiley face? bleeding pentagram with fetuses and organs hanging off of meat hooks 15. Beanie Babies/Star Wars? STAR WARS BITCH!!!!!!1111111111 16. Movies or TV: if i had access to a lot of movies then movies 17. Music or Computer: both at ONCE 18. Telephone or TV: TV.. who the fuck would i talk to on the phone stupidass 19. McDonalds or Burger King: bk..mmmmmmmmmmmmmm 20. Dairy Queen or TCBy: i guess dairy queen cuz idk the other one 21. Beach or Pool: house 22. Movie Theater or Rent: theater as long as fucking little faggot thug wannabes aren't there 23. Garage Sales or Thrift Store: nah 24. Wal-Mart or Target: idk 25. Internet or Phone: INTRANBNET 26. E-mail or Snail Mail: i dont use either 27. Swing or Slide: swing dancing 28. Romeo or Juliet: wtf.. yo i'd fuck juliet's 14 year old brains out 29. Pantene Pro-V or Herbal Essences: idc im a scrub 30. Eating out or Eating in? EATING OUT UHUHUHHHHH YOU SAID EATING OUT DHSADfbsuifjfuhubfg
ARE YOU... 1. A Vegetarian?: no, and PETA are fucking faggots i'd like to slaughter and eat them 2. A Good Student?: im an okay student 3. A Good Driver? AHA i never tried 4. Good At Sports?: NO 5. A Good Singer? i wish 6. A good Actor/Actress? no 7. A deep sleeper?: no 8. A Good Dancer? no 9. Shy?: YEAH 10. Outgoing?: NO!!!!! 11. In love with the person who sent this to you? yes 12. A good storyteller?: no 13. Preppy/Slutty/Sexy/Sporty/All of the above?: slutty :( 14. Are you Beautiful, Hot, cute, ok, ugly, or Nas-D?. nas-d, wtf? that's the stupidest fucking thing i ever heard 15. As of right now are you happy, sad or mad? bleheg
HAVE YOU EVER HAD... 1. Chicken Pox? yes 2. Strap Throat?. yea 3. Flu?: yea 4. Cold? yep 5. Stitches? yes 6. Bloody nose?yes 7. Cancer?. no 8. Surgery? yes 9. Heart Attack? i will in a few years 10. Heart Transplant? no 11. Someone say they hate you? not really 12. Someone besides your family say they Love you? people have but i don't think much of it anymore since i've lost faith in such a stupid phrase 13. Someone punch you? no not seriously 14. Sex? fuck off 15. A secret crush? all of my crushes are.. not that there's alot but
DO YOU... 1. Enjoy parks? no 2. Like Picnic? no 3. Liked school? no 4. Like the color pink? yea 5. Wet the bed? no 6. Collect anything? no 7. Like to sing? no 8. Like to shop? yes 9. Like to Party? no 10. Get in trouble a lot? no 11. Wear make-up? no 12. Chew your food before swallowing? ... 13. Think the person who sent this to you is cute or good looking? f0 sh0 14. Like being taken? yea 15. Chew ur ice cweam? wtf!
WOULD YOU... 1. Eat a live baby hamster for a million dollars? FUCK YEA 2. Go to a Hanson concert if you had free ticket? dude hell yea they're awesome 3. Ever get any body parts pierced? maybe 4. Kill someone you didn't know for 15 million dollars? no 5. Crucify an Adorable Human Baby for 20 million dollars and a full pardon/plane ticket to Argentina? FUCK YEAH i'd leave it hanging in my backyard 6. Pay for sex? yeah man i'm gonna have a realdoll someday 7. Get paid for sex? nobody would ever do that
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Sunday, October 20th, 2002
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hmm.. this sucks. my mom is still awake, saturday night is always when she goes to bed early and i can just sit here on the computer and be alone and happy, but she's fucking awake and pissing me off. i swear to god if i'm not fucking smiling ear to ear then my mom will start interrogating me if i'm sad or some shit. sometimes i wish i had parents that didn't give a shit about me, but then i'd probably be high as fuck right now and dropped out of school.
i just was watching some MTV thing about 20 years of rock.. how i wish that i could be on there. being a rock star is probably the only job i'd actually enjoy, working 9 to 5 will just not be my thing even though i know i'm gonna have to deal with that at some point. someday i really wanna start fucking rapping and get serious about it if i even hear a glimmer of promise in what i do. doing vocals for a raprock/horrorcore band is just a fucking dream to me, even though i'm not exactly what you'd call a charismatic frontman. not even close, really. i'd sell my soul to the devil to be able to bring even a taste of the wicked underground to the mainstream media. the combination of marilyn manson and eminem as far as being shocking would be great. dark videos with very negative religious imagery and just overall craziness. gotta start doing stuff i guess :\
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Saturday, October 19th, 2002
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i haven't used this in quite a while. i don't even have anything to vent either, i'm just that bored. i gotta piss pretty bad but i'm wearing my swishy swishy UFOs so i can't get to the bathroom without waking my mom up and then she'd probably steal the computer from me. and uh.. today i SAT RIGHT AT HOME ALL DAY! WOW! FUCKING AMAZAZAZING! i wish this weekend could last forever, there's way too much crap to do for school. gotta do my history outline, the pre-cal project, ID card for japanese, and probably more stuff for all i know. the onslaught of work just doesn't ever seem to cease, i hate it.
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Sunday, August 25th, 2002
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i dont understand me. why can i hate someone more than anything one moment and the next i expect to be their friend again? why do my feeling constantly change and conflict each other as if i can never truly make up my mind on anything? i don't give my parents the respect they deserve for raising me and doing everything they could to give me a good life. i complain about being miserable when i'm just bored because of my own laziness and antisocial tendencies. i can't seem to realize that the majority of my sadness is my fault and the people around me have little to do with it. but then again, i barely have any friends to start with. at least i have manny. he might be an asshole at times but he's been a better friend than anyone else that i know. joe is great too, even if he's with his gf all the time. i don't blame him because he's in love, i'm happy as hell that he can get to experience such happiness. but we have someone like evan who would be such a great friend if he actually went out of the house. now school will come along and he'll go for maybe a week before he gives up again and sinks back into spending his entire life sleeping and sitting in mIRC and playing games. that's so goddamn discouraging. i think he's fucked up in the head somehow and i'm starting to think i am too. the excuse of people being "bi-polar" and all that shit has always bothered me and seemed like bullshit but now i honestly start to feel that something is genuinely wrong with me. no person should be so undecided and changing in moods. i can't understand why the hell my state of mind is so constantly changing itself. i can't decide on anything anymore. how will i ever find true happiness? every day it's something different that makes me happy whereas something else that's very little pisses me off to the point of depression. and how will i ever be able to live a normal life, work a 9 to 5 job and take care of myself? how can i pay for my own apartment and buy groceries and deal with little bumps in the road when these teenage chores seem like the biggest burden in the world to me? i could never fall in love and get married, i'd fall out of love the next day. i can't care for somebody else and live with them as a couple, i don't think i could be trusted to care for them and be responsible enough for both of us. even if i could do that, how in the hell would i care for children? god it would be such a beautiful thing to have my own offspring and raise them, but i'm an idiot. i don't have the patience to take care of all these little things.. taxes, mortgages, bills.. i cannot even begin to comprehend these things in life. i can barely care for myself, how could i ever care for other people's lives? it's amazing, with the life i've lived so far i should be an A+ student with friends and a beautiful life. yet somehow, something, somewhere, went terribly wrong. i shouldn't be like this. i shouldn't be spending almost every day of my summer sitting at this computer except when my parents are on, in which case i watch brain washing television. why can't i understand anything? i don't even know what i'm writing about anymore, just mixed feelings and emotions. i want so badly to succeed and do well in my life but its damn near impossible. i can't concentrate on anything, my attention span is horrible. i just want to do well in school and not be lazy. i want to go through college and work at some video game development company, a well paying job which will assist me in raising my 2 children and for my loving wife. why can't any of this ever happen? why did this all powerful being God or destiny happen to curse me with such a weak and lost mind? everyone around me i know cares about me but i cannot realize it. i feel stranded and alone all the time yet there are wonderful people that honestly care about me. what the fuck is my problem? i'm so sick of myself, the entire problem seems to be me. i've been blessed with a loving family and a decent amount of friends, yet i can't live. i don't understand the concept of life and i'm a disgrace. i don't deserve to be here. i'm just a waste of money, oxygen, space.. if i could change and develop to become a real human being then things would be fine, but i don't see how i could ever do it. i wish i had answers.
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Wednesday, March 27th, 2002
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this sucks.. my mom said some shit that she wants me off the computer and doing school work.. and its like the beginning of spring break. fucking complete bullshit. i think shes pissed cuz im refusing to get a class ring and plus the fact that im not in any extracurricular activities.. so she wants to limit my computer time i suppose. so basically all shes going to accomplish is pissing me off and making me hate her more than i already do. its amazing how much i hate her because of her complete stupidity and lack of logic. i mean my dad can be somewhat strict at times and everything but i dont mind him cuz most of the time he's really cool. but jesus christ my mom is pathetic every single thing about her makes me want to rip her face off. and she's so damn nosey ill bet she's gonna find my journal and read this and like.. decide to send me to catholic school or something because "you can't live a normal life without faith" .. fucking idiot.
now i cant bring my bass amp to ken's house tonight.. we're supposed to practice tomorrow and like most of spring break but im feeling so shitty right now that i dont even want to. so i am betting this whole vacation will suck ass because of my bitching whiny ass little mom that cries over figure skating. yeah.. you heard right.
school.. is gay y0. except for hanging out with cool people yeaaahhhh.. that girl allison whom last name i dont know was like kinda talking to me.. and im not sure why since im ugly and disgusting and she's some rather attractive prep.. just being nice i suppose which is cool. i guess im done now.
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Tuesday, March 19th, 2002
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idk man im tired as hell. today was just your average day at school.. complete boredom, no evan.. :D damn paula walked by several times at lunch for no apparent reason i think.. maybe trying to get my attention but thats too bad. much too bad. i think i fucking rocked my algebra test which is good cuz i havent been doing too good there lately.. oh in gym we're doing the weight room now which sucks ass cuz i never do anything in gym and now i think i actually have to. either way im gonna do next to nothing, just enough to pass i guess. school is such a waste :*( goodbye for nowwwww wwww w wwwwwww wwwwww wwwww
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idk im bored so im writing here. nobodys on so i have no one to talk to and it suckss maaannnn.. we couldnt have band practice over the weekend and we cant this weekend either damn.. we gotta practice tho so we can destroy everything that is punk in this town.. eliminate and destrooooyyyyyyy YYETYAGSHA damn i cant even think of anything to type.. yea i broke up with paula because she ignores me and pretty much treats me like shit.. and thats bad. so now i can whine about being lonely whoopee. perhaps i should do homework and then play some bass.. work on my song.. and eat. because my stomach craves food.
damn i get cigarettes offered to me at lunch a lot now idk.. its like people have to go in school or something and give it to me but some people dont encourage my nicotine habits and beat me.. not that its a habit more like an occasional thing. no way in hell id get addicted to that shit and spend money on it. that's such a waste its crazy. i have better things to buy.. like.. clothes.. actually i dont know cuz i have 140 bucks or so and i really dont know of anything to spend it on. i gotta take a trip to the mall at some point soon. this may be the longest entry i have ever written, im rather proud of myself. even tho i know that nobody reads this except maybe shari or meg cuz theyre my only journal friends :*( GIVE ME SOME OF YOUR FRIENDS PLEASE I AM A LONELY BOY
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yeaaaa i never write in my journal im not sure why. not too much occured today that was all that groundbreaking.. went to school and stuff and .. yeaaa.. had the small remainder of a cigarette at lunch because i am a hardcore smoker.. w00t. yea i think paula hates me too but oh wellllll thats ok.. because i have my hand and my penis and we make a good family already. i bought mikes bass too.. yeah its an OGL and OGL stands for Very Good Bass but that doesnt make sense but i dont care so fuck you. its pretty.. woooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo sami is going to see nofx tonight shes been psyched outta her mind thats cool i kinda wish i could cuz who the hell knows if theyll ever come back here. i should try to do something tonight instead of sitting here and being lazy and antisocial.. and perhaps i will write about it. not that anyone reads this but I DO! DODODooiu
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